Je Ne Suis Pas Xavier Dupont De Ligonnes

Where were you in April 2011?
Because if you’re wearing this shirt, chances are someone’s going to ask.

From the shadowy depths of France’s most macabre bourgeois mystery, Hate Couture proudly presents its most evasive piece yet: the “Je Ne Suis Pas Xavier Dupont de Ligonnès” t-shirt. A bold, tongue-in-cheek declaration of innocence — or is it?

For the uninitiated (bless your sheltered soul), Xavier Dupont de Ligonnès was the suburban phantom who allegedly exterminated his entire family, buried them neatly under the patio, mailed cryptic letters about joining the CIA, and then vanished like a ghost in a well-ironed button-down. No trial. No conviction. No trace. Just a neatly folded myth with a Catholic aftertaste and a wine cellar full of questions.

Now, you too can wear this shirt and radiate suspiciously well-dressed denial.

Features the phrase “Je Ne Suis Pas Xavier Dupont de Ligonnès” in a refined, deadpan typeface — the kind of statement a man on the run might wear to the supermarket if he wanted to look just ironic enough to blend in.

Why wear it?
Because it’s the perfect uniform for:

• Making your coworkers deeply uncomfortable

• Creating tension at French family dinners

• Gaslighting strangers into second-guessing cold cases

• Getting asked very polite but worried questions by airport security

It says:

• “I know who Xavier is.”

• “I’ve read the Wikipedia page twice.”

• “I have a passport, but it’s none of your business.”

Product Details:

• 100% jet-black cotton – breathable, deniable, and perfect for disappearing into the night

• Unisex fit – whether you’re a suspect, a sleuth, or just French and fed up

• Subtly silkscreened text – because screaming “NOT A KILLER” too loudly is how you get profiled

• Pre-washed – unlike your conscience

• Sizes XS to 5XL – because guilt, like fashion, should come in all sizes

DISCLAIMER:
This shirt will not exonerate you.
It will not improve your alibi.
It is not recognized by INTERPOL, nor is it endorsed by the French police.
It may, however, get you followed around by true crime podcasters or swiped right on by people with red flags in their bios.

In a world where everyone’s pretending to be innocent, why not ironically claim yours?

Hate Couture.
If you see Xavier Dupont De Ligonnes, tell him we have his size.