When In Jerusalem Do Like The Romans

Hate Couture – “When In Jerusalem” T-Shirt

Some shirts make a statement. Others start a riot. This one? Well, let’s just say it could probably get you crucified in at least a dozen countries. Hate Couture proudly presents the “When In Jerusalem” t-shirt—a grimly hilarious nod to one of history’s most infamous executions, wrapped up in the kind of dark humor that makes priests cross themselves and history teachers sigh deeply.

At the heart of this design, a brutally simple yet evocative illustration: a hammer, a few carefully placed nails, and a thorny crown—symbols so iconic they need no explanation. Above them, in bold, unapologetic lettering, the phrase “When In Jerusalem, Do Like The Romans” delivers the punchline with the grace of a centurion swinging a mallet. Some might call it irreverent. Others might call it educational. We just call it fashion with an attitude problem.

This shirt is perfect for:
✔️ History buffs who laugh at the wrong parts of documentaries
✔️ People whose sense of humor could get them barred from heaven
✔️ Fans of religious satire, Roman efficiency, and old-school execution methods
✔️ That one edgy philosophy major who argues that morality is subjective
✔️ Anyone who enjoys watching deeply uncomfortable reactions in public places

Crafted from premium fabric softer than Pontius Pilate’s resolve, this shirt ensures comfort even when carrying the metaphorical (or literal) weight of the world. The print is as bold and unyielding as the empire it references, designed to withstand the test of time—unlike certain historical figures who had a rough Friday afternoon.

Wear it to church. Wear it to history class. Wear it to awkward family gatherings where your deeply religious aunt clutches her pearls and starts praying for your soul. Whether you’re out to provoke thought, spark controversy, or just remind people that history is one long series of bad decisions, this shirt has you covered—literally.

DISCLAIMER: Hate Couture takes no responsibility for smitings, excommunications, sudden drops in inheritance, or surprise theology debates with strangers. Side effects may include divine judgment, existential dread, and the occasional knowing nod from someone just as messed up as you are.

Hate Couture—because history is dark, and so is our sense of humor.