Hail Satan Portable Electric Fan

For those who like their breeze as cold as their soul, the Hate Couture “Hail Satan” Portable Electric Fan is here to keep you cool while the world burns. Designed for the unapologetically blasphemous, this unholy wind machine is perfect for hot summer days, awkward family gatherings, and metaphorically (or literally) fanning the flames of chaos.

Features of This Unholy Relic:

🔥 Hail Satan Light Show – The moment you switch it on, Hail Satan illuminates in bright, flashing letters, ensuring that even the most devoted Bible-thumper in the room gets the message loud and clear.

🔋 USB Rechargeable – Because selling your soul shouldn’t mean constantly buying batteries. Charge it up like you charge your phone… or your deep-seated disdain for humanity.

💀 Compact & Travel-Friendly – Small enough to carry anywhere but powerful enough to remind people that you’re not here for their salvation.

👹 Summon the Breeze of the Abyss – Three speed settings: Casual Heretic, Infernal Breeze, and Gale-Force Blasphemy. Whether you need a light chill or the breath of Beelzebub himself, this fan has you covered.

✨ Perfect for Every Occasion – Satanic rituals, metal concerts, work meetings, and other hellish environments where you’d rather not sweat like a sinner in church.

So if you’re tired of the oppressive heat (and the oppressive moral expectations of society), embrace the darkness and cool off in style. The Hate Couture “Hail Satan” Portable Fan – because Hell is other people, and they’re all breathing too close to you.